Oh ye long day at work
It seems as though the days blend together into this huge mass of wasted time and space. I really hate days where I fall asleep feeling blank, my mind only wants sleep. Yet, my heart wants my mind to stay awake. My heart wants my mind to forget that it's tired and focus on things it yearns for; music, art, and thoughtful words.
Sadly, I do not have many thoughtful words tonight. Working a double shift today with only a half hour break wore me out to the point that my mind non functiono. There are a few goods things about work; for one thing I am connecting with this wonderful girl, we'll call her L. L. and we click like best friends that have known eachother for years...she has inner battles likes me, is more beautiful than Elizabeth Taylor, and is one of the very few women I would trust sharing my core with. More importantly, she is one of the first women I do not feel threatened by. Yes, she's beautiful. Yes, she's smart. But she is also troubled, and underneath her kind smiling face - I know that there's a girl so much like me.
I really don't feel that way about the other girls at work. None of them are as smart, or pretty as L., but I do feel threatened by them. This leads me to believe that what I am really threatened by, does not have everything to do with "thinness" or "beauty." Some of it comes from that...but I think it comes from feeling judged. I perceive and sense judgement from the others. With L., I feel that she sees more than outward beauty, another shell that hides all sorts of people; depressed, insecure, afraid, spoiled, tormented, and etc.
My intuition leads me to women who appreciate soul more than anything else in this world. L. is one cool chic, and I am so happy to finally have found a female friend in this new city.
On another note, I despise my boss. We'll call him B. He is the opitomy of men, a true slimeball that somehow worked his way up the power ladder. He takes great pride in putting me down, finding whatever he can to pick on me about, and attempting to make me feel powerless as often as possible. It is people like him, that make me so excited about the future. People like B have a purpose; it is to motivate the silent competitors of our time into action. The type of person that has not yet emerged from her shell, but will do so. Ungracefully as it will occur, she will do so. I can't wait until this sleeze reads the papers someday, and sees that face of the girl he humiliated and made feel like shit daily gleeming in the spotlight. I'll be sure to give a sarcastic smile just for him.
Sadly, I do not have many thoughtful words tonight. Working a double shift today with only a half hour break wore me out to the point that my mind non functiono. There are a few goods things about work; for one thing I am connecting with this wonderful girl, we'll call her L. L. and we click like best friends that have known eachother for years...she has inner battles likes me, is more beautiful than Elizabeth Taylor, and is one of the very few women I would trust sharing my core with. More importantly, she is one of the first women I do not feel threatened by. Yes, she's beautiful. Yes, she's smart. But she is also troubled, and underneath her kind smiling face - I know that there's a girl so much like me.
I really don't feel that way about the other girls at work. None of them are as smart, or pretty as L., but I do feel threatened by them. This leads me to believe that what I am really threatened by, does not have everything to do with "thinness" or "beauty." Some of it comes from that...but I think it comes from feeling judged. I perceive and sense judgement from the others. With L., I feel that she sees more than outward beauty, another shell that hides all sorts of people; depressed, insecure, afraid, spoiled, tormented, and etc.
My intuition leads me to women who appreciate soul more than anything else in this world. L. is one cool chic, and I am so happy to finally have found a female friend in this new city.
On another note, I despise my boss. We'll call him B. He is the opitomy of men, a true slimeball that somehow worked his way up the power ladder. He takes great pride in putting me down, finding whatever he can to pick on me about, and attempting to make me feel powerless as often as possible. It is people like him, that make me so excited about the future. People like B have a purpose; it is to motivate the silent competitors of our time into action. The type of person that has not yet emerged from her shell, but will do so. Ungracefully as it will occur, she will do so. I can't wait until this sleeze reads the papers someday, and sees that face of the girl he humiliated and made feel like shit daily gleeming in the spotlight. I'll be sure to give a sarcastic smile just for him.
posted by Sara at 9:10 PM
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