So Afraid.
Title of my life. So Afraid. But perhaps, that is changing.
Well, L. (my good friend) and I were planning on going out for some drinks, some talk, and just to connect on female things...which I think is so essential for women: to connect with other women! Since of course, we are the superior of humankind...kidding. No, what I mean is that we really need someone to share our emotions with. Sometimes the ones we love the most, our husbands or boyfriends, cannot come close to understanding what it is like to feel on such a high degree. And we wish they would, and we often get on their cases for not listening. When, we are plain and simply afraid to go out and talk to other women about our insecurities!
Anyway, my friend ended up having other obligations, which is fine! I was a bit dissapointed, but I suppose this entire situation was a lesson for me. I have been asked by many female friends to go out for dinner, go out for a movie, etc., and I have always responded with,
"Yes, of course! I'd love to."
But in the end, I ALWAYS end up backing out and nearly 95% of the time, I avoid their phone calls. That is one of my worst traits; I avoid the phone when I know someone wants to talk to me. I avoid some else's yearning to get to know me. This happens so frequently, my behavior is painstakingly predicatable. Perhaps L. is that similar to me, that comfort often comes before a new experience; getting to know and getting closer to our same sex is simply too terrifying. A chat now and then, before or after work is great - but sitting down for more than half an hour... my nails are biten raw before I'm done thinking about it.
Women.
We are crazy folk.
No, I am not mad at L., in fact, I am quite happy. She has opened by eyes. I am feeling right now, what other girlfriends have felt when I turn them away; disappointment! I have never been in their shoes because I have really never wanted to get to know other women. And this feeling of dissapointment is good because it proves I am changing a little bit. I do want to know other women. How can I ever help women, if I fear getting to know them at a deeper level? It wouldn't happen.
Only the mind of a female could come up with such a perfect synthesis! (Basically, that means over-analyzing. Something I love to do.)
Well, I am sitting here listening to Josh's alarm clock go off. It has been ringing for 10 minutes straight and the noise is interfering with the frequency at which I type. Ah. Make. It. Stop.
Ok. I will attempt to ignore. Anyway, Ben is home with Bilbo's. The best pizza the world has ever known. Until next time, cheers.
Well, L. (my good friend) and I were planning on going out for some drinks, some talk, and just to connect on female things...which I think is so essential for women: to connect with other women! Since of course, we are the superior of humankind...kidding. No, what I mean is that we really need someone to share our emotions with. Sometimes the ones we love the most, our husbands or boyfriends, cannot come close to understanding what it is like to feel on such a high degree. And we wish they would, and we often get on their cases for not listening. When, we are plain and simply afraid to go out and talk to other women about our insecurities!
Anyway, my friend ended up having other obligations, which is fine! I was a bit dissapointed, but I suppose this entire situation was a lesson for me. I have been asked by many female friends to go out for dinner, go out for a movie, etc., and I have always responded with,
"Yes, of course! I'd love to."
But in the end, I ALWAYS end up backing out and nearly 95% of the time, I avoid their phone calls. That is one of my worst traits; I avoid the phone when I know someone wants to talk to me. I avoid some else's yearning to get to know me. This happens so frequently, my behavior is painstakingly predicatable. Perhaps L. is that similar to me, that comfort often comes before a new experience; getting to know and getting closer to our same sex is simply too terrifying. A chat now and then, before or after work is great - but sitting down for more than half an hour... my nails are biten raw before I'm done thinking about it.
Women.
We are crazy folk.
No, I am not mad at L., in fact, I am quite happy. She has opened by eyes. I am feeling right now, what other girlfriends have felt when I turn them away; disappointment! I have never been in their shoes because I have really never wanted to get to know other women. And this feeling of dissapointment is good because it proves I am changing a little bit. I do want to know other women. How can I ever help women, if I fear getting to know them at a deeper level? It wouldn't happen.
Only the mind of a female could come up with such a perfect synthesis! (Basically, that means over-analyzing. Something I love to do.)
Well, I am sitting here listening to Josh's alarm clock go off. It has been ringing for 10 minutes straight and the noise is interfering with the frequency at which I type. Ah. Make. It. Stop.
Ok. I will attempt to ignore. Anyway, Ben is home with Bilbo's. The best pizza the world has ever known. Until next time, cheers.
posted by Sara at 6:58 PM
1 Comments:
That is so weird, how we finally recognize the annoying traits we have by seeing them in other people.
We have conjured up that Mr. Che (our cat) responds to whatever we say with, "Shut up human. When I turn into big lion man, I will eat you all." He must be choleric.
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