Learning, Part I

I found this illustration quite amusing. Obviously, the vintage artist did not have supporting the Women's Suffrage Movement in mind when creating this print. Suffice it to say, he had the general stereotype of women during the 19th and early 20th century down quite well. Why do stereotypes piss us off?1) They place judgement without examining the reasons why and how someone came to be. 2) Though they make speak some truth, they do not always represent the individual.

In this vintage print, we learn that the female mind revolves around marriage, caring for annoying screaming pooping babies, eating chocolate, being a good mother, and writing thank you letters. Man...if only this artist could have been transported in time to see me in my apartment. He would probably think I was brain damaged. I lift heavy weights, rarely wear a bra, eat red meat, hate babies (Sorry new mothers...I wouldn't say in public...but your babies, for the most part, annoy the hell out of me.), hate cleaning, live in a house full of dog and cat fur encrusted crevices, LOVE to argue and prove my point, love the idea of becoming successful on my own, hate cleaning dishes, and everything I put in the oven turns into petrified rock. I should probably apologize to my husband too, but ya know, we're nearly one of the same.

Yet, sadly, the artist has one element that does, yes, represent who I am. The dress represents the idea of women yearning to be beautiful. Every woman wants to be beautiful...I don't care how ultra liberal booby bearing she is...she has the yearning to be beautiful.

Time has shown us that "the mind of a woman" has changed. Not all women think about having babies, we're holding off on marriage until the mid 30s, we're filling high paying executive spots in the corporate world, we're getting our PhDs...though we still have something that tells we have not quite come to completely equality between men and women. It is something that keeps us small, something that keeps us contained, quiet, and immobile. It is something that hinders our ability to move forward. What is it that keeps us from reaching our feminine potential? Notice that, I said feminine potential...in that our female potential is different (but equal) to the male potential. Shopping, clothes, purses, getting our hair done, going out with the girls, talking to a best friend, showing off our emotions, and etc are things we learned that make us "feminine," increase our sex appeal to men, and thus increases our chances of being loved.

Let's get even more basic. Why do we wear jeans? Well...during the 1850s, Levi Strauss (a German merchant) sold jeans under the name "Levis" to miners in the San Fransisco area. The idea? Rivets to reinforce the material, thus making "jeans" less likely to tear while the miners were hard at work. It wasn't until the 1950's that jeans became a twentieth century teenage fashion statement. Today, jeans are the norm.

Why?
"Because."

Because why?
"Well because...that's just...what we wear today."

Umm. Sorry. No. Don't think it's that simple. Jeans became popular. Popularity increases sex appeal and also increases the chances of social approval. And who wants to be alone? Not I. Thus today, we have jeans in many different styles to show "our unique individual assets." Relaxed fit for manly men. Skinny fit for pretty girls. Increase our chances of acceptance, social approval, sex appeal, and/or maybe even love.

We want to fit in. We want to be accepted. Don't give me any of that "I'm Goth" bullshit or any of that "I'm trendy and unique!!" bullshit. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it to fit in whether it's with another group of goths, preps, jocks, poets, artists, intellectuals, or business people. Unless you're a hermit. If so, congrats because you are unique. Still human nature must come into play. Perhaps you were hurt by another person, perhaps social situations create too much anxiety for you, perhaps the beauty of nature is incredibly reinforcing to you and you simply LOVE it.

Am I sounding too scientific right not subtract the spiritual? Am I reducing humans to simple behavioral models of reinforcement and punishment? No. no. no.

We are spiritual beings.
We are intelligent beings.
We are made in the image of God.

We also learn.

1. God made it possible for us to learn at an astronomical rate...especially as growing children.
2. Young children can quickly learn a second language, the rate of aquisition far surpasses that of adults.
3. The more a child practices the lanugage, the harder it is to forget it.
4. Language is a positive adaptive behavior.
5. It is not possible to learn language without human interaction.

What's my point?

We also learn. (These facts are available at www.about-face.org)

1. American children and adolescents spend 22-28 hours per week viewing television (23 on average) more than any other activity except sleeping. By the age of 70 they will have spent 7 to 10 years of their lives watching TV. American television and movies are the most violent in the world.
2. A content analysis of 33 popular Nintendo and Sega Genesis video games revealed that there were no female characters in 41% of the games. Females were either absent, or they were cast in the role of victim. In 28% of the games females were portrayed as sex objects.
3. 90% of all girls ages 3-11 have a Barbie doll, an early role model with a figure that is unattainable in real life.
4. A study of the content of Seventeen Magazine (the most widely distributed adolescent magazine) for the years of 1945, 1955, 1965, 1975, 1985 and 1995 found that in all issues the largest percentage of pages were devoted to articles about appearance (Schlenker, Caron, Halteman, 1998
5. The average person sees between 400 and 600 ads PER DAY-that is 40 million to 50 million by the time s/he is 60 years old. One of every 11 commercials has a direct message about beauty (this isn't counting the indirect ones).
6. The behaviors that are resultant of the media can be extremely destructive to both young boys (violence associated with masculinity) and girls (thin ideal)
7. It is not possible to learn the language of the media without interaction with it.
   

So just like language is flying into kids' brains, isn't the media as well? Aren't children EXTREMELY observant? (A lot of times, they are a little more direct and to the point than we'd like!) Were the messages we learned as young girls regarding our bodies positive? Or do they account for the how and why of it all? Yes, the stereotype is quite true as it stands. Women want to be beautiful. But what is beautiful? Does beauty change from era to era?
"Well, yeah."
So is beauty is simply a social concept?

"Depends on your definition of beauty. I happen to think that beauty comes from within."

Hey. You're learning. (You were sick of my nagging weren't you?) But I still don't think you believe what you just said. Can you simply erase your native language after it has been learned?
"Of course not."

So what can you do?

You can start learning a new language. No, it's not going to be easy. Can it be done? Next time, we'll explore those possibilities!

Afraid

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." Rosa Parks

In order to face the world, does purpose have to be clear? Why are we so confounded by our place, our meaning, and our untold story? I think so many of us are so tired of asking, "What do you want me to do God??? Just tell me - I'll go! Just give me a glimpse, a clue! I'll go. I promise I'll go. Anything. Please God, where are you?" Ecclesiastes teaches us that purpose is not static. A time to weep and laugh, to keep to throw away, to seek and to lose. Does a clear path even exist? How did Rosa Parks know what to do???


"I did not want to be mistreated, I did not want to be deprived of a seat that I had paid for. It was just time... there was opportunity for me to take a stand to express the way I felt about being treated in that manner. I had not planned to get arrested. I had plenty to do without having to end up in jail. But when I had to face that decision, I didn't hesitate to do so because I felt that we had endured that too long. The more we gave in, the more we complied with that kind of treatment, the more oppressive it became." Rosa Parks

So what did Rosa start out doing that was so phenomenal? How did she go from being fearful to being the civil rights leader that she is hailed for?

She simply took a step forward. Does it really matter how or where we step forward? Does God really care about the details when we are first learning to walk? As we begin to overcome fear and take steps forward, walking becomes easier. Soon, we're able to run. Then race. Then see the finish.

At 23, I'm finally beginning to understand that while I'm waiting for God to give me an answer, there are people going hungry, women being broken, lives being torn apart, war ravaging families and tearing apart loved ones, and hatred being spread. While I sit and ponder, pray for clarity, and grow tired of waiting for an answer, life gets comfortable. While I was worrying, I could have faced the fear of becoming.

So what does God want? Stop listening. (Listen, but not the point that it cripples you.) Stop worrying. Stop daydreaming. Stop wasting time. Act. God wants us to act. He equipped us with certain talents. Tools to build up others, tools to create change, tools to help others heal. Let's get to work! Let's use our voices, our instruments, our hands, our compassion, our artwork, our intelligence, and all of our gifts - and let's start moving forward.

Body

Body. Boys. Accessories.

I don't know what it is about Helen Keller that fascinates me; of all the literary figures in history, she is one that I'm most drawn to. She was an author, activist, and lecturer; she stands out in my mind as revolutionary. Socrates, Kant, Mills, Plato, Aristotle, etc. Pretty wise dudes, yes? And according to any revolutionary, any philosopher, "suffering" is a relative term; it is what we make of it. In regards to Helen Keller,

she could not see.

She could not hear.

It is hard to look back into history books, memoirs, and biblical accounts of those who suffered for what they believed in. Jesus. Martin Luther King Jr. The Apostle Paul. Paul Rusesabagina. Mother Teresa. These are big names. Let's not forget those who stood up during the Holocaust. Fathers and mothers who have died trying to protect their families in Darfur. The Christians living under Roman persecution. And on and on.

Here's a dictionary look at the verb, to suffer.

suf·fer
v. tr.

1. To undergo or sustain (something painful, injurious, or unpleasant)
2. To experience; undergo
   
3. To endure or bear; stand
4. To permit; allow

If this definition is correct, suffering entails a conscious effort. Socrates suffered while be held captive by authorities, but chose to end his suffering by drinking the hemlock poison. On the other hand, Jesus had the opportunity to renounce his divinity, but instead chose to suffer. Though it is impossible to compare being deaf and blind to choosing death, there is a point that I'm alluding to.

The first picture is what? A Body. Boys. Sex. Accessories. All a girl needs to feel whole today, right?

In the case of Jesus, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr, and Helen Keller, what was the role of the body? Even when the body failed to see or hear, it was home to a spirit. In all cases, the body was merely a house. A place for the spirit to reside in this world. These men and women sacrificed their physical self, for they KNEW that the spirit was eternal.

(Was eternal. The spirit Was eternal. What has happened to the spirit? Who took the spirit away from us?)

In the first two pictures, why is the house displayed without the spirit? Where is the soul within those broken, empty vessels? That is what starvation and vanity does...it leaves you empty. We've lost sight of what constitutes suffering. Today we hear things like, "Beauty hurts" and "No pain to gain." Yes, we suffer for the body, we throw away the value of the spirit, and we wait patiently for our Coach purse to serve love to us...patiently... patiently...

We buy our salvation...God forbid we live alone. We forget the love, the eternal love, that God has for us. We cannot buy, see, touch, or hear God's love...where's the value in that? If I can't have it here and now then what's the point? If it's not on a CD, if it's not in a magazine, if it's not on TV, the here and now, what are we supposed to do? Wait for it to come around? Ha. What's the point in waiting for a love we can't even feel? We must appease the body. Our senses. We only live inside our house. We bought this house with our money. We bought all of the furniture, accessories, and wall ornaments in this house. Live it up, take precious care of these resources. These dwindling resources. Cannot be shared. Will not give them away...will not give them away. This house is ours.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller