Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.
~Norman B. Rice
I feel so much apart of both. That darkness is something permanently engraved in my soul; and light is something my heart is aching for. Light is who I am to become, though dark is something I will always have to live with. Just like the quote says, you must reach into darkness to pull others into the light.
When I think about speaking to women crippled and immoblized by eating disorders; I imagine myself losing my breath and not being able to speak. I imagine every word I say being relected off, back into space. There are people meant to help these women, and I believe they have very strong souls. I feel myself drawn more towards the source of body-hatred.
The following information can be found at http://www.about-face.org/r/facts/bi.shtml
Body image dissatisfaction and dieting behavior isn't restricted to adolescents or adults. In a study of almost five hundred schoolgirls, 81% of the ten-year-olds reported that they had dieted at least once (Mellin, Scully & Irwin, 1986). A study of 36,000 students in Minnesota found that girls with negative body image were three times more likely than boys of the same age, to say that they feel badly about themselves and were more likely to believe that others see them in a negative light. The study also found that negative body image is associated with suicide risk for girls, not for boys (American Association of University Women, 1990).
Wooley and Wooley (1980) found that girls are more influenced and thus more vulnerable to cultural standards of ideal body images, than boys are. A recent national health study, that studied 2,379 9yr and 10 yr old girls (approximately half White and half Black) found that 40 % of them reported that they were trying to lose weight (Striegel-Moore et al, 1996).
In a sample of male and female high school students, two-thirds of boys and girls believed that being thinner would have an impact on their lives. The majority of girls believed that this impact would be positive, while the majority of the boys believed that the impact would be negative. The gender groups did not differ significantly in their weight distribution around the expected norm for their group. Girls had higher body dissatisfaction scores than boys on all measures. Girls reported magazines as their primary source of information regarding diet and health, whereas boys reported their primary source to be parents, followed by two other categories before mentioning magazines (Paxton, Wertheim, Gibbons, Szmukler, Hillier, & Petrovich, 1991).
It is so saddening to me, that girls as young as 10 years old (and probably younger) think of themselves as overweight, or that they need to diet. That being thinner would have a positive impact on their lives. At what age does this begin, and how can parents help to prevent this? It is not like parents can completely shield their daughters' eyes. We are a media-crazed culture, and somehow - the media finds a way to get just about everywhere. I want to help prevent eating disorders, while also encouraging treatment. For me, my most vulnerable age was around 11-13 years old. I already knew about the media, but girls is school were actually starting to live by those rules. The cool girls were thin, had new clothes, and got attention from "guys." They read Cosmo and watched MTV, and actually were allowed to watch "The Real World." All of us were attempting to model our lives by what we saw on T.V.
And so began Mr. Allen's class; where we were to monitor our calorie intake and burn for an entire month. The last thing on Mr. A's mind was starting a mass complex about food and weight for the girls in his class, but it affected everyone so horribly. It was pretty much a contest to see how little we could eat, if we could beat the other girls. Some pretty disturbing behaviors began that year. I
know that if these sorts of behaviors developed in quaint little IR, Michigan, than that was just a very small scale to what was and is going on in big cities.
This complex is out of control, much like a spreading disease, though very few teachers and parents see it as that. They see it as "girls being girls." I have to disagree; we are not meant to hate ourselves, this isn't some "trait" that we all share. In the 1500s, full bodied women were all the craze for artists and rich men alike. A skinny woman was "poor" and "sick." When the media of the day glorified larger (normal!) women, I highly doubt that these women hated themselves. In fact, I'm sure they were quite proud to be the highlight of many artists most famous work.
The media isn't going away. Though there are currently some counter-activists; like Dove. Wow, what a company. I give them so much credit for starting the campaign for real beauty which recognizes the unique shape and build of every female.
When I talk about going back into darkness; I pretty much mean going back into middle school. It is there where I believe that eating disorders develop and affect women for the rest of their lives. Even with a master's in psychology, I am sure much of the work I will be doing, will be for free and out of the deep concern in my heart.
As a young girl, I would have loved to have talked to an older woman about my low self-esteem and skewed body image. I never would have admitted it though, which leads me to believe that I must go to that place never mentioned; that place left in the dark...that is very much alive.
